My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Found your dick twin last night
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize