I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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