3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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