so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
