Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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