I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
