I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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