eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
false alarm. still invincible.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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