we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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