I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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