What did we do last night that was yellow?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
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Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
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I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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