Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
