I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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