No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
