But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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