I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
