is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
