why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
