You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
