she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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