it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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