They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
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Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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