Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize