I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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