is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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