when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
