so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
