idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
