At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
