sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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