I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
