So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
