also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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