I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
