Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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