mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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