She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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