I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
