Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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