as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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