Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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