i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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