There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
