I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
