Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
