I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
