I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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