so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
