i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
