who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Pants are for mortals
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
