just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
