She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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