I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
