looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
