you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize