Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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