Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
