why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
