do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
