she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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