I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
