what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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