Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
