Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
