STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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